Wow! What a year for the Murgotts family. Murgotts is how most of my kids pronounced our last name for the first while after they learned to speak, so Murgotts it is. Here is a list of the main things that happened in 2013.
We had a baby (and it's head popped off!)!, which is one of the many dandelion-based games we played this year. We also had a baby whose head did not pop off. We called him Toby. He is very smiley, but like most Tobys he insists that his name is Kunta Kinte. His birth was chronicled here as was the initial telling of the Kunta Kinte joke.
We moved into a new home in a new neighborhood. I wrote about the move here.
We, Lady Buffington and I, celebrated 20 years since graduating from Schmigh Schmool about which this post is written.
I didn't write as much this year as in years past. I'm not sure what this can be attributed to; perhaps it was laziness, busy-ness, business, lazy-ness, or lack of things to say. Whatever the case there was a four-and-a-half month gap in writing this year, which started immediately after July, the month in which this blog recorded a record number of views/hits.
My personal favorite posts this year involved blasphemy, stores, another store, and the tooth fairy.
I also got mad about politics and religion, and pitched a sitcom about a roof raiser.
Finally, I posted some Christmas videos, talked briefly about my brother who died this year, and listed things that come in sets of twelve.
Thanks for reading Mom!
Happy New Year!
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
When Christmas Comes to Town
Ike and Mimi practicing for the family Christmas party.
Listen for Kitty on a jingle bell (she's playing them to demonstrate Santa's sleigh bells) and Cubby's maniacal laughter at the end is awesome.
Merry Christmas!
Listen for Kitty on a jingle bell (she's playing them to demonstrate Santa's sleigh bells) and Cubby's maniacal laughter at the end is awesome.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Catsmas
Just in case you missed it, the group I sing with, Voice Male, made this video for the holiday season. The idea was to take the concept behind two popular internet ideas and squish them together.
And, in case you forgot, we did something similar last year.
First, we wanted to make the overall video feel like awkward family photos. If you are not familiar with these, here is an address: http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/. Let me warn you, many of the photos on this site are disconcerting and uncomfortable, and therefore hilarious.
Second, we know how internet cat videos are exceptionally popular. We also have a thing we do in our Christmas concerts that we lovingly call Carol of the Smells where we sing Carol of the Bells with the sounds of various animals, most often cats.
Not long after we released the video, KSL--a local TV station--found it and posted it on the ksl.com website. Here is what they said,
SALT LAKE CITY — The Internet is basically controlled by cat videos — you've undoubtedly seen at least one cat-related video in your lifetime. However, if you haven't, there is one cat video that you should probably check out.
From the local vocal group Voice Male comes an awkward, but oddly delightful, music video called "Carol of the Smells."
While you may think a music video called "Carol of the Smells" would involve some sort of parody about bad smells, you would be wrong. This is not a Weird Al music video.I give you, Carol of the smells:
Instead, you will be treated to a vocal rendition of cats — yes, cats. And it may be the most awkward thing you've seen for quite awhile. Who knows, though, maybe you're into it.
Fortunately for all involved, Voice Male knew what they were doing making this video … hopefully.
And, in case you forgot, we did something similar last year.
Jon
I lost my brother in October. I have tried to write about him several times, but have found it too hard.
The fact is he was too young to go (he would have turned 47 a few weeks after his accident). He has a beautiful wife and three wonderful kids that are left without him, and then there are the rest of us who loved him.
His birthday was on Halloween, so, fittingly, my niece and nephew created a Jack-o-lantern in his image.
He, my brother, the cowboy/miner/biker was--and is--funny, caring, compassionate, smart, fiery, outgoing, and a friend to all.
My last interaction with him was on the golf course, where I shared a cart with him. He made me laugh a lot that day, just like always.
I miss him.
The fact is he was too young to go (he would have turned 47 a few weeks after his accident). He has a beautiful wife and three wonderful kids that are left without him, and then there are the rest of us who loved him.
His birthday was on Halloween, so, fittingly, my niece and nephew created a Jack-o-lantern in his image.
He, my brother, the cowboy/miner/biker was--and is--funny, caring, compassionate, smart, fiery, outgoing, and a friend to all.
My last interaction with him was on the golf course, where I shared a cart with him. He made me laugh a lot that day, just like always.
I miss him.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Tooth Fairy Decay
Dear Tooth Fairy, Sir or Madam:
I hope I am writing to the correct tooth fairy; the one assigned to the house on the corner of Schmern and Schmristos. If not, will you please forward this message to whichever tooth fairy covers the greater Schmalt Schmake Schmity area. Better yet, forward this to that fairy's supervisor.
I would like to complain. The service has been less than stellar. Of the 19 teeth that have come out of children's heads at our house only three have been exchanged for money on the first night that they were placed carefully under pillow. Sixteen times the tooth has sat there under the pillow all night long. I don't have to explain the disappointment this causes. Children are not known for their patience and deep understanding when it comes to things they expect, and as a parent, I have to deal with the aftermath.
I understand that things happen and occasionally schedules don't work out like planned, but I think I should be able to count on a tooth fairy showing up more than 15 percent of the time. If I did that at my work, someone would probably notice it, and that person would probably glare at me a lot without doing anything about it. But, by golly I intend to glare and do something about this!
I appreciate the apology notes that have been left on nights two through seven. However, if I'm being Frank--excuse me, I mean frank (Frank's a good guy, but why would I be him right now)--your apology notes look like the work of a 38-year-old man, chicken scratched as he kneels squinting at the counter of the bathroom trying to write like a fairy, but it's too dark to know exactly what the writing looks like or even what he is writing. And besides, the notes are just one lousy excuse after another lousy excuse--how many fairy conventions does one tooth fairy have to attend in one year anyway? And what's with the fancy spelling of "Faerie." Are we JM Barrie?
[Also, in your last apology note you told us your name, if you have a minute, could you remind me what that was? I remember it was a series of five to seven words and there were some random objects in there. It was a name that seemed like it was made up by a 38-year-old man kneeling in an un-lit bathroom scrawling a faerie note in the middle of the night, but obviously it wasn't that because it came from you. So, remind me, what was your name again? I need to know because Mimi lost the note with the name written on it, but she will remember, so if I ever have to know your name again, I'm going to need you to remind me. I would ask Mimi, but I don't trust her to tell me the truth, for nefarious reasons that I won't disclose here. It's a real lost 116 pages scenario.]
Anyway, start showing up or you're fired. We will no longer give you our teeth. Our teeth don't have to go under our pillows, you know. We could carve them into trinkets, or tiny weapons, or jewelry, or tooth-related art and sell them, essentially eliminating the middle man, or the middle faerie as the case may be.
Good day sir or madam! I said good day.
Wilson Culpepper
I hope I am writing to the correct tooth fairy; the one assigned to the house on the corner of Schmern and Schmristos. If not, will you please forward this message to whichever tooth fairy covers the greater Schmalt Schmake Schmity area. Better yet, forward this to that fairy's supervisor.
I would like to complain. The service has been less than stellar. Of the 19 teeth that have come out of children's heads at our house only three have been exchanged for money on the first night that they were placed carefully under pillow. Sixteen times the tooth has sat there under the pillow all night long. I don't have to explain the disappointment this causes. Children are not known for their patience and deep understanding when it comes to things they expect, and as a parent, I have to deal with the aftermath.
I understand that things happen and occasionally schedules don't work out like planned, but I think I should be able to count on a tooth fairy showing up more than 15 percent of the time. If I did that at my work, someone would probably notice it, and that person would probably glare at me a lot without doing anything about it. But, by golly I intend to glare and do something about this!
I appreciate the apology notes that have been left on nights two through seven. However, if I'm being Frank--excuse me, I mean frank (Frank's a good guy, but why would I be him right now)--your apology notes look like the work of a 38-year-old man, chicken scratched as he kneels squinting at the counter of the bathroom trying to write like a fairy, but it's too dark to know exactly what the writing looks like or even what he is writing. And besides, the notes are just one lousy excuse after another lousy excuse--how many fairy conventions does one tooth fairy have to attend in one year anyway? And what's with the fancy spelling of "Faerie." Are we JM Barrie?
[Also, in your last apology note you told us your name, if you have a minute, could you remind me what that was? I remember it was a series of five to seven words and there were some random objects in there. It was a name that seemed like it was made up by a 38-year-old man kneeling in an un-lit bathroom scrawling a faerie note in the middle of the night, but obviously it wasn't that because it came from you. So, remind me, what was your name again? I need to know because Mimi lost the note with the name written on it, but she will remember, so if I ever have to know your name again, I'm going to need you to remind me. I would ask Mimi, but I don't trust her to tell me the truth, for nefarious reasons that I won't disclose here. It's a real lost 116 pages scenario.]
Anyway, start showing up or you're fired. We will no longer give you our teeth. Our teeth don't have to go under our pillows, you know. We could carve them into trinkets, or tiny weapons, or jewelry, or tooth-related art and sell them, essentially eliminating the middle man, or the middle faerie as the case may be.
Good day sir or madam! I said good day.
Wilson Culpepper
Monday, July 15, 2013
93, 93, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, 93: An Historical Retrospective.
I graduated from High School twenty years ago, in 1993. Allow me to wax a little nostalgic about the "good ol' days."
1993 was a very prestigious year to graduate from high school. There are tons of famous graduates. Let me demonstrate with a series of pictures of class of '93 graduates:
So, I am a contemporary of Slater, Dylan, and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I think this means that 1993 was the last year that anyone would buy the 30-year-old actors playing Seniors for the fifth straight year.
Also, these two were born the same week that I graduated from high school:
Other things that have happened since I graduated from high school.
...fourth month as President of the United States.
1993 was a very prestigious year to graduate from high school. There are tons of famous graduates. Let me demonstrate with a series of pictures of class of '93 graduates:
So, I am a contemporary of Slater, Dylan, and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I think this means that 1993 was the last year that anyone would buy the 30-year-old actors playing Seniors for the fifth straight year.
Also, these two were born the same week that I graduated from high school:
Other things that have happened since I graduated from high school.
- Bill Clinton finished his ...
...fourth month as President of the United States.
- OJ Simpson reinvented what he is best known for (hint: it is not his athletic prowess)
- David Letterman moved to CBS
- The internet became...
...a thing
- NAFTA was signed. I don't know what that means, but judging by the following photo, it must have been something to do with giant stereotypical North Americans fighting over a toy-laden quilt with North America embroidered on it.
- Hong Kong was reunited with China.
- They cloned a sheep named dolly, leading to the question will there be another ewe? or you?
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Sidious Maul Shopping
My oldest son, Ike, and I found this great new store last night:
Sorry for the blurry image, but the dark side of the force makes it hard to focus except for when you're really angry, and, as you can plainly see, this marketplace belongs to the Sith.
The place is incredible. The doors even open through use of the force. I used my two fingers and beckoned the doors to open, Obi-wan style. Ike, all Vader like, just walked through.
The Sith's Marketplace motto is "only a sith deals in absolutes, and here you get a deal on absolute-ly everything!" It's true. Everything is buy-one-get-one free because "always two there are."
The store's sheer potency is intoxicating (I'm not talking about the adult beverage aisle, which is literally intoxicating due more to alcohol than sheer potency).
I found myself feeling rather powerful, and I wanted to demonstrate that power by cutting off Ike's hand. I didn't do it, but if I had, the electronics area--back behind the droids--has replacement hands. They only come in black though, which is weird given the season.
Walking up and down the aisles I kept feeling like I should reveal things. Things like:
1. Paternity. "Ike, I am your father."
2. Revenge plans. "At last we will reveal ourselves to the check-out staff, at last we will have our revenge."
3. Allies. "Fear is my ally."
4. How operational things are. "Now, witness the power of this fully operational jelly doughnut."
5. Paternity again. "There is another...a sister...you'll need to share this pack of gum with her."
Ike kept commenting on the "at-long-last completeness" of things. For example :
Pointing at a hula hoop. "at long last, the circle is now complete."
Pointing at a stock boy putting together a model train display, "at long last your train...ing is nearly complete."
Walking to a corner of the store where a light was burned out, "at long last our journey to the dark side is complete."
They didn't have the milk and eggs (or the droids) we were looking for, but it was still worth the trip because we were low on red-bladed lightsabers, black capes and robes, and absolutes, so we picked some up. We also picked up a galaxy far, far away where Ike and I, with our purchases complete, at long last will rule... and... we... shall... have... peace.
Sorry for the blurry image, but the dark side of the force makes it hard to focus except for when you're really angry, and, as you can plainly see, this marketplace belongs to the Sith.
The place is incredible. The doors even open through use of the force. I used my two fingers and beckoned the doors to open, Obi-wan style. Ike, all Vader like, just walked through.
The Sith's Marketplace motto is "only a sith deals in absolutes, and here you get a deal on absolute-ly everything!" It's true. Everything is buy-one-get-one free because "always two there are."
The store's sheer potency is intoxicating (I'm not talking about the adult beverage aisle, which is literally intoxicating due more to alcohol than sheer potency).
I found myself feeling rather powerful, and I wanted to demonstrate that power by cutting off Ike's hand. I didn't do it, but if I had, the electronics area--back behind the droids--has replacement hands. They only come in black though, which is weird given the season.
Walking up and down the aisles I kept feeling like I should reveal things. Things like:
1. Paternity. "Ike, I am your father."
2. Revenge plans. "At last we will reveal ourselves to the check-out staff, at last we will have our revenge."
3. Allies. "Fear is my ally."
4. How operational things are. "Now, witness the power of this fully operational jelly doughnut."
5. Paternity again. "There is another...a sister...you'll need to share this pack of gum with her."
Ike kept commenting on the "at-long-last completeness" of things. For example :
Pointing at a hula hoop. "at long last, the circle is now complete."
Pointing at a stock boy putting together a model train display, "at long last your train...ing is nearly complete."
Walking to a corner of the store where a light was burned out, "at long last our journey to the dark side is complete."
They didn't have the milk and eggs (or the droids) we were looking for, but it was still worth the trip because we were low on red-bladed lightsabers, black capes and robes, and absolutes, so we picked some up. We also picked up a galaxy far, far away where Ike and I, with our purchases complete, at long last will rule... and... we... shall... have... peace.
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