8 Simple Rules for Public Discourse in Social Media: a Primer

I have got to say it: I'm tired of the rancor and bitter exchange that makes up most of our public discourse these days. For some reason we feel compelled, in our social media, to entrench ourselves in one ideology or another, and we refuse to admit that there just might be some validity to others' closely held, opposite argument(s).

Facebook, once a wonderful way to connect with old friends and acquaintances has devolved to a slog of memes and ideology. I don't get it. I want to hear what you're up to, not what you think about the current political situation, my religion, kids these days, or some poorly written quote that has been mis-attributed to Bill Cosby or George Carlin.

So, I've come up with a list of 8 rules that I think will help make our social media experience a more pleasant one.

1. Sarcasm is very difficult to pull off without body language, facial cues, and voice inflection, so sincere posts are preferable to sarcastic posts.

2. Condescension is magnified in social media. If you even remotely hint at being better than someone else, it is noticed, and you come off looking like a jerk. This is because, no matter how much better than someone else you are, you are not better than anyone else. We all come in naked and screaming, and we all eventually go out--if we're lucky we'll be naked and screaming.

3. Humor is fine; however, humor directed at any particular group is probably not fine. Be funny without ridiculing people.  Remember, humor is very subjective.  No matter what you post, some will not find it funny.  At the very least it can be nice.

4.  For every negative-toned post you throw into the ether, you should post three positive-toned posts. That way people who only interact with you through social media won't think of you as an Eeyore type.

5. Long stories about your kids should be put in an email and sent to your mother, she is the only one who cares to read a long story about your kids. Short stories about your kids are fine. Here is the best format to follow:

Kid: Blah, blah, something hilarious.
Parent: *Reaction*

6. Too many selfies will negatively affect your reputation.

7. Don't swear in your posts and don't forward posts with swears in them.  My kids get on my computer, and it makes you look desperate for attention.

8. (This rule is only for the meme forwarding crowd): Limit the number of memes you re-post to ten percent of what you think is appropriate (that means you do not post nine of ten memes that you think you ought to post). Originality is better than repeating other people's tired, sometimes plagiarized, motivational posters.

 That's all.