In honor of President's Day I have imagined a world where candidates for office may create slogans only in candy bar poster form.
Here are some of the possibilities:
Vote for me, I’m a Big Hunk of burning political love!
Don’t vote for Hershey’s a Nut Roll!
100 Grandma’s agree, you should vote for me!
The branches of government are not listening to each other. These 3 Musketeers to hear, or nothing will be accomplished!
I can prevent a double-[Fun] Dip Reese’session!
A Starburst on the scene and he’d like your vote!
Rolover current politician, there is a new candidate in town!
I am independent! I stand ‘Twixt the left and the right!
It doesn’t matter Worther’s you like him or not, he’ll work for you!
The incumbent is okay, Butterfingers are in the wallets of American workers!
Ring Pops and tell him to vote for me!
The other guy has his Snickers in a bunch!
My opponent is Nutrageous! I’m Mentosly stable.
Raise the roof! Because Raisinets a good thing to do!
And finally: Nerds (I’m looking at you Mike & Ike), If you don’t vote for me, you’re all Goobers!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentine's Day on the Ice Planet Hoth
It's meant to be a rudimentary replica of an Imperial Walker (or AT AT) as seen in the Star Wars franchise, specifically, The Empire Strikes Back.
We were quite proud of ourselves.
Monday, February 7, 2011
PBS (pure butter spray)
I keep an ideas notebook in my mindflaps where I take notes of ideas. Some of the ideas are for awesome inventions like: mindflaps and ideas notebooks! Other ideas include topics that I can write about either here or in other writing places (e.g., bathroom stalls, bedroom walls, and other people's foreheads). Every once in a while I get out that notebook and look at those ideas that I have been keeping. This time a couple of them stood out to me: PBS television and butter spray. I would like to say a few words about each.
Of course, we will begin with butter spray (I dedicate this section to all things Schmahn).
Well, actually, it's official name is I Can't Believe it's Not Butter spray. You may remember the I Can't Believe it's Not Butter products from their 1990's ad campaigns where couples showed varying degrees of belief that they were or were not eating from a tub of butter. Then, the good people at ICBINB invented a process which allowed them to harness the awesome power of suspending human belief about butter in a spray. For advertising purposes they, of course, added Fabio. Fabio's job was to say in a very thick where-ever-Fabio's-from accent, "spray."
Now, there is something about being able to spray butter-ish liquid that diminishes the suspended belief that non-butter butters create in the consumer. No one, living in reality, would ever use the following sentence, "I can't believe it's not butter spray!"
Why, you ask? Because butter spray is not a thing that one believes in. As far as I know, no one has invented butter spray made from butter. Butter milk, sure. Butter spray, no. So, not believing that something sprayed out of a pump action, non-aerosol, hair-spray-type bottle is not a thing that doesn't exist is crazy. Almost as crazy as the use of triple negative in sentence you just read. The product's real title probably aught to be one of the following:
I Can't Believe it's Not Hairspray
or
I Can Believe it's Not Butter
or
I Don't Believe it's Butter, Because It Isn't
or
I Can't Believe I Spray This on Things I Used to Put Butter On
Now that we have it labeled correctly, have you ever tried it? It is awesome. Try it today. Right now. You won't be able to believe it. It will suspend your belief about butter-related things. Our butter universe changed in the 1990s and many of us didn't believe it, but we should have.
Now, let's move on to PBS Television. I have fallen in love with nerd TV (no offense to the nerds reading this posting through their coke-bottle lenses). Specifically, I have fallen in love with the BBC offerings that PBS Television airs on the weekends, which means I am a female nerd. My favorite: Lark Rise to Candleford. Please, watch it, it is wonderful, then we can talk about it (while laugh-snorting, taking puffs from our inhalers, and speaking in the elfin tongue).
Other great PBS/BBC shows: Downton Abbey, Lost in Austen, Sherlock, and Doc Martin (and that is just the scripted stuff).
Of course, we will begin with butter spray (I dedicate this section to all things Schmahn).
Well, actually, it's official name is I Can't Believe it's Not Butter spray. You may remember the I Can't Believe it's Not Butter products from their 1990's ad campaigns where couples showed varying degrees of belief that they were or were not eating from a tub of butter. Then, the good people at ICBINB invented a process which allowed them to harness the awesome power of suspending human belief about butter in a spray. For advertising purposes they, of course, added Fabio. Fabio's job was to say in a very thick where-ever-Fabio's-from accent, "spray."
Now, there is something about being able to spray butter-ish liquid that diminishes the suspended belief that non-butter butters create in the consumer. No one, living in reality, would ever use the following sentence, "I can't believe it's not butter spray!"
Why, you ask? Because butter spray is not a thing that one believes in. As far as I know, no one has invented butter spray made from butter. Butter milk, sure. Butter spray, no. So, not believing that something sprayed out of a pump action, non-aerosol, hair-spray-type bottle is not a thing that doesn't exist is crazy. Almost as crazy as the use of triple negative in sentence you just read. The product's real title probably aught to be one of the following:
I Can't Believe it's Not Hairspray
or
I Can Believe it's Not Butter
or
I Don't Believe it's Butter, Because It Isn't
or
I Can't Believe I Spray This on Things I Used to Put Butter On
Now that we have it labeled correctly, have you ever tried it? It is awesome. Try it today. Right now. You won't be able to believe it. It will suspend your belief about butter-related things. Our butter universe changed in the 1990s and many of us didn't believe it, but we should have.
Now, let's move on to PBS Television. I have fallen in love with nerd TV (no offense to the nerds reading this posting through their coke-bottle lenses). Specifically, I have fallen in love with the BBC offerings that PBS Television airs on the weekends, which means I am a female nerd. My favorite: Lark Rise to Candleford. Please, watch it, it is wonderful, then we can talk about it (while laugh-snorting, taking puffs from our inhalers, and speaking in the elfin tongue).
Other great PBS/BBC shows: Downton Abbey, Lost in Austen, Sherlock, and Doc Martin (and that is just the scripted stuff).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)