I have to get something off my chest. I understand if some of you disagree with some of the points I'm about to make. That's okay, we can still be friends.
It's already old news. I doubt that there are many who will disagree with my thesis statement: the National Broadcasting Company is stupid. I mean that in the nicest possible way. NBC is stupid, very stupid.
Not all that long ago NBC was the number one network. They did it with shows like The Cosby Show and The Cheers and then The Seinfeld and The Freinds. They dominated Thursday night for two decades. Thursday nights are lucrative advertising nights because they precede Friday. Advertisers, (particularly movie ads) use Thursday night to give their final push to get people out buying their stuff over the weekends.
NBC has recently fallen off in the ratings, but I have continued to be a fan of NBC products. I like their current Thursday night line up, Community, Parks and Rec., The Office, and 30 rock, all solid situation comedies. I like them (Community is my favorite of the four I've listed--it's funny because it's true--I teach at UVU). I like the Today Show, certain aspects of SNL, Brian Williams' newscast, the local affiliate's newscast, and a lot of other things about the network. So, I have felt bad as NBC has fallen to fourth place among the networks. However, I was forced to stop feeling bad about six months ago.
NBC had an idea to move Conan O'Brien (that might not be spelled right, I do not know how to spell his name) to the Tonight Show to replace the very large face of Jay Leno. I was surprised at the move, but pleased because I never really found Mr. Leno funny. He, to me, is a hack comic. Just not funny. To me. My opinion. How I feel about his comedy and his stupid, moon-shaped, recycled baseball-mitt face.
So, sometime last year the thinktank at NBC let O'Brien take over the Tonight Show. They built him a very expensive and beautiful studio to host the show in. They made him move from New York to Los Angeles. Also, in order to keep Leno's jowls from moving to another network, they gave Leno a nightly show that started at 9:00 Mountain Time. Leno's show was supposed to be kind of a variety show, but it turned out to be the Tonight Show an hour and a half earlier.
NBC was shocked to learn that nobody wants to watch 7 hours of late-night-style shows and the result of all of this movement was that NBC's audience was even smaller than usual. This affected many of the local affiliate news casts especially. Some of the affiliates threatened to air something else and this made NBC nervous. So NBC told everyone that Leno would be moving back to 10:35 just after the news to do a half-hour show and that Conan would be pushed back to 11:05 (local time). With this plan NBC essentially cut the traditional Tonight Show in half and offered it to both hosts.
Why am I telling you all of this? I don't know, you already knew all of this. You also know that O'Brien refused and left NBC and that Leno is due to be re-introduced as the flagship idiot of an idiot network.
So, let me point something out that you may not have noticed.
Many years ago there was a wise king named Solomon. Two women came to him each claiming that a baby belonged to them. The same baby, let's call him TonightShloamoe. Solomon offered to cut the baby in two. One mother with a very large face and inverted skunk-like hair said, "yeah sure, why not. Half a baby is better than no baby." The other mother tall, pale, and Frankensteiny said, "No, don't hurt little Tonightshloamoe. I would rather give him up than damage him." Solomon knew then that the true mother was the be-pompadoured redhead.
Solomon was known for his wisdom. NBC is now known for its stupidity.
Please join me in not watching Mr. Leno's chin-dominated face. Oh, and if any of you know Jeff Zucker (president of NBC), it is a bad idea to headbutt him in his highly polished empty dome head. Even if it would make a very satisfying echoey noise.
5 comments:
OH geez the stretch to religious similitude is a bit much. I think nearly all TV is trash. Just sayin' with L. O. V. E. So I'll watch nothing =) A-me
Bringhurst Family,
I have to agree with you that watching nothing is the best choice.
NO WAY was the religious similitude a bit much, my brother. YOU hit it right on the head. It was a horrible move by NBC and Mr Leno can rot in his own crater bowel face! Believe me, that was said with much love, for I do L.O.V.E. a good crater bowel. Seriously, NBC made some pretty poor choices and it's unfortunate that a great comedian (writer for The Simpsons, SNL, "The Year 2000" guy) was set aside with such teenage-like panic to be accepted by viewers. Unfortunately NBC quite doesn't understand that the red-headed geek is a much better investement than the strong jawed jock who wants to relive the glory days.
In my opinion, Conan is the true host of The Tonight show.
Quote 1:
O'Brien released a statement on January 12 stating "I sincerely believe that delaying The Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting."
Quote 2:
Conan O'Brien, on his departure from The Tonight Show, January 22nd, 2010
"Every comedian dreams of hosting the Tonight Show and—for seven months—I got to do it. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second [of it] ... All I ask is one thing, and I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch: Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
PS I would like to personally appologize to Conan for my cynicism. Ok I'm done. Thanks for letting me share my opinion, and don't worry, I know that it's just an opinion and just a TV show. Take care, my brother.
Now I would like to appologize, I mean apologize, for misspelling appologize "dang it" apologize. Thank you very much.
Amen to all Rick and Jana. Your sentiments are exactly what the buzz is at our home. Of course to add to our disappointment and pain, Conan was a place holder for our own red-head who is gone for another 17 months and so we feel passionate about not having him on TV any more. Boo-Hoo.
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