Have You Warshed the Venchtables?

Hello,

I have cute kids.

One of my favorite things about them is that they sometimes butcher words. My favorites include Mimi's pronunciation of the word also. If you could hear it you would become weak from the cuteness. I have no means of reproducing the audio on this blog. In fact, all I can do is type letters in certain specific orders to form symbol groups that we call words. Then you look at those symbol goups and interpret them into meanings, also called words.

So, in order for you to get as much of the cuteness as possible let me describe with symbol groups, I mean, words as best I can how it might sound. Mimi's speech is very juicy. Sometimes her S's sound like they are half s and half sh. So when an s comes mid-word you get that very slight slur--not a tongue thrust (which is another very cute speech thing) just juicy sibelants. Think of her as a five-year-old drunkard. All sloshed from a three-day bender. Got it? Ok, instead of also, she says osli (oh-slee). As in, "and we osli went to the chim ('chim' is Mimi for gym)." Bless her little booze-soaked heart.


Ike likes the prefix ig to start certain words. For example igleese means "at least" and ignoying means "annoying" and igloo means "igloo." He also drops L's in favor of Y's. You can hear it when he talks to Corky; often he'll say things like, "ah, sweet yiddle baby." It's not baby talk and it's not that he can't say L's (when he first spoke he used L's perfectly and still can) I think it's just that he's gotten lazy about it. After all, yiddle is a whole lot easier to form than "little." The only reason you don't think so is because you have had many years of practice. (Inappropriate joke alert!) If you ever have a stroke, you'll see what I mean (I appologize).

I like the world yiddle. It sounds like a goofing-off verb. As in, "our cat was yiddling around all day." I can also make it sound like a euphimism for urination. As in, "our cat yiddled." I'm not sure why it's the cat doing all of this yiddling.

Speaking of cats, Kitty our two-year-old says woorshwie for nursery. Good luck figuring that one out without some type of interpereter. If our baby was actually named Corky, she would probably call him Chorchie. She adds "ie" to everything she says, as if she is a sorority sister from the 1990s (e.g., foodie, jinkie (drink), pottie (potty), seatie, foonie (spoon), cuppie, et cetera-ie). Kitty is a funny little yiddler.

This may be my fault, because when I was a kid I thought that the words "this" and "morning" when spoken together were actually the smorning. I knew the word "this" and I knew the word "morning" and I knew that together they meant "this morning," but whenever I heard that phrase my brain aranged the noises comming in into the symbol groups of the and smorning, which in turn would cause me to say grammatically precarious phrases like, "what are we doing in the smorning?" That phrase only works if one were planning on doing something in (you know, evil wise) this morning.


That is all.