Why, In My Day...

My son, Ike, has two trophies for his participation in a community soccer league. Trophies for participation. He is very proud of the trophies, as anyone would be. Mimi, his sister, is very jealous of the trophies and longs for the day that she too will have trophies for participation.


The weird thing is that the teams that Ike has played on have never won a single game. Not one. I have been to all but two of the games he's played and his team has never won. I know, I know, they don't keep score at his age. But, it's not like both teams scored so many goals that it would be impossible for me to keep track of the score. So, I guess that the trophies are for learning and growing in the sport. But, it seems to me that part of learning and growing in a sport is learning to lose gracefully, because in the real world you don't always win and it's not always fair.


Which brings me to my next point. My kids are snooty. A few weeks ago, while I was mowing the lawn, Ike and Mimi got into a water fight. I didn't mind, it kept them occupied while I worked. They were each using an empty plastic water bottle, you know, the kind that are ruining the universe. They would fill it up in the house, run outside and splash each other. I was only slightly worried about them dripping on the kitchen floor. No big deal really (Buffy wasn't home). After about twenty minutes I noticed that there were a couple of empty water bottles sitting on the driveway. Ikers and Meems still had theirs--chasing and splashing each other like Hannah and Mags at beet harvest time. My thought process follows:

*Why are there two emptys on the driveway?*
*I'd better pick them up*
*What? Why are there more emptys in the garage?*
*One, two, three...ten, eleven, twelve. Twelve empty water bottles?*
*Doh!*

I realized Ike and Mimi had not been filling up their bottles at all, but had been raiding our water storage. They had been supplying their water fight with Dasani water that had been bottled and shipped from the Alps, or Canada, or the Rocky Mountains, or a tap Down Town, or somewhere. I could not believe the snootiness that must have gone with their decision to use bottled water.


Mimi: Ghastly, what tap water does to my skin. Harrumph.

Ike: Yes, yes. Can't stand the smell of the stuff. Tut, tut.

Mimi: Of course you know I intend to drench you with this bottled water.

Ike: Of course. Proceed. Charles, bring me seven bottles for my response.

Charles: I am the butler and therefore I will bring you what you wish for.


So, Ike and Mimi have been paying off the water bottles. About three weeks worth of allowance ought to do it. Meanwhile, I have forced them to bathe themselves in regular tap water, minus the gold dust.