Rushing the Field = Big MUSS

Saturday night was the final annual BYU Utah football game. From here on out, the game won't be played annually, but will be intermittent with a chance of meatballs.

BYU lost the game, which was very winnable.

I blame the Utes for scoring three more points than BYU had time to score. Well, actually BYU had just enough time to score that same amount of points, but didn't. The final game-tying field goal attempt bounced off the upright and into oblivion.

Or, did it bounce into our hearts? I have been told by a few sources that the final field goal attempt that would have tied the game and sent it into overtime, bounced off the upright at exactly 11:59 PM. One minute before 12:00 AM--the beginning of the Sabbath Day. BYU does not play on the Sabbath.

Had BYU gone for the win with a Hail Mary (er...Hi Emma, maybe?), they would have won the game. There is no doubt. Never mind that Riely Nelson really doesn't throw the ball all that well. I am convinced (by delusion) that it would have happened.

I have one more tiny little thing to talk about. Idiot Ute fans.

The fact is I like the University of Utah as an institution. I like the U's sports teams. I like Utah fans as individuals, but when you put them together in a stadium, and soak them with beer (which is what all BYU fans imagine when imagining a collection of Ute fans), they are less pleasant to be around--just enough of them that are vulgar and aggressive.

Also, there has never been a field that Ute fans have not wanted to rush. They love rushing fields like dental hygenists love asking open-ended questions while they put stuff in your mouth. The anticipation of rushing a field, combined with lots of alcohol, makes certain Ute fans wet themselves on a Tuesday morning.

So, at the end of the game the other night, Ute fans rushed the field...three, count them, three times. One of those times the said rushing of the field cost their team a penalty and may have, barring the Lord's unwillingness to let His team play on the Sabbath, cost their team the victory. Oh man, that would have been sweet. Ute fans losing it for their team. Alas, what could have been. So, in honor of that almost beautiful moment I have devised the following list:

Top Ten Reasons that Ute Fans Rush a Football Field:

10. To get monster truck tickets.

9. To sign up for apostasy classes.

8. To register for a three-credit hour class offered at SLCC (it transfers!).

7. To report accomplishing cold fusion.

6. To hire a BYU alum.

5. Because everyone else is doing it.

4. Because a guy is offering free beards.

3. Because they're in the PAC 12, duh.

2. To get away from other Ute fans!

1. To make BYU fans feel better about a crushing loss by acting like idiots! YAY!