Naming Names

A few months ago, I wrote a post making fun of Newt Gingrich's name. My little hit piece seemed to move public opinion because within a couple of weeks of my post, Newt was no longer a serious contender for the Presidency. In the spirit of fairness, there are some other names I would like to make fun of now.

Mitt Romney
Mitt Romney was born during the seventh inning stretch of a Detroit Tigers game. His father used his new-born son to catch a home-run ball in the top of the eighth. Some guy in the stands said, "Nice mitt you got there!" George Romney looked at his boy and said, "Yes, yes he is a nice mitt." Even now when Mitt Romney catches a base ball he'll follow it up with a ba ba.

George Romney was an impressive guy who found great success by overcoming difficult obstacles. One of his obstacles was dyslexia. He actually wanted to name Mitt, Tim, but he filled out the birth certificate request incorrectly. If Mitt's name had stayed Tim, and if "Tim Romney" were to be elected to the office of President, he would be only the second person named Tim to hold that office. The first was Abraham Lincoln.

Mitt Romney's first name, Mitt, is actually an acronym. It stands for Massachusetts Institute of Technology Technology, and is pronounced "em eye tee tee?" The answer to that is, "yes you are. Very tee tee in deed."


Barack Obama
Barack Obama's first name is Kenyan for "place where I store my lamb sounds" -- a rack for your bahs, if you will.

 You may not have known this, but Obama's last name is a contraction of "Oh, Alabama," which is what people say when they are chiding the state and/or the band.

Fans of Oprah and the University of Alabama call themselves OBamas.


Joe Biden
Biden is actually a contraction of a longer two-word last name: Bin Laden. Biden's great grandfather removed the n(space)La. Can you imagine if Joe's Great Grandpa had kept that name, the campaign posters in 2008 and 2012 would have read, "Obama Bin Laden."

Barney Frank
Massachusetts representative, Barney Frank, has considered changing his name to Frank Barney.


Tony Blair
The former British PM changed his name to Tony from Natalie Jo Tuti Blair.


Chris Christie
The New Jersey governor's full name is Christie Chris Chris Christie. On a related note, Kris Kristofferson's middle name is Tofferson.


Benjamin Netanyahu
The Prime Minister of Israel came into prominence in the 1990's when everyone called the internet the "net," and conducted web searches on Yahoo.


Tim Pawlenty The former governor of Minnesota and would-be third POTUS named Tim (after Abe and Mitt), is part of the wealthy candy-making family behind the 1930's treat Good 'n Pawlenty. His last name is derived from the family trait of lending a hand, and also of their referring to hands as paws. Another famous Tim, Tim Duncan, was given his last name when it was discovered what he would do for a living--make doughnuts.


The End.