This posting is a couple of weeks old--I just never posted it. Anyway, here it is.
Oh boy. If you live in Schmutah and if you watch the news, you've probably noticed the hubbub concerning schmudot and its dealings (full disclosure, I work for schmudot).
The questions swirling around schmutah's schmepartment of schmransportation involve some version of the following:
How many dots could schmudot dot if schmudot coodot dot?
The answer is clear. It's 17.
To the outside observer, other swirling questions have less clear answers:
Did a certain governor influence schmudot to award a contract to a political supporter?
Did schmudot act inappropriately when it awarded a $1.1 Billion contract?
Is schmudot's executive director a bad guy who should be terminated?
Let me make it as clear as I can to my fellow schmutahans, by employing language that can easily be understood by schmutahans--Heck no!
I could lay out all of the details, but that would be very boring. Just trust me, that is the answer to those questions. All other answers are politically motivated, at least in my opinion.
There are, unfortunately, some questions about schmudot that must be answered with a resounding Heck Yes! These questions follow:
As a trainer for schmudot do I teach employees how to lean on shovels?
Should "bada bing!" be added to the last question?
Is the term schmudot synonymous with slowed, frustrating, summer traffic?
Has schmudot been under the impression that the public thinks highly of it?
Is that a weird assumption?
Does the public actually dislike schmudot because of the huge amount of inconvenience it dishes out on the driving public?
Are you one of those people?
That's all. Bye.
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