Twenty-five Random Things About Me (from facebook)

1. I have read a bunch of these and have liked every one of them. However, I am not one to share 25 random things about myself. So I'll do 27. With that as introduction, I give you my 25, excuse me, 27 random things about me. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

2. I like Facebook because it makes interacting with a computer seem like interacting with actual friends. Boom, roasted!

3. My legs are not attached like normal human legs. The knees point inward and the feet point outward, which makes me believe that they were attached by Hannah Barbara animation studios circa 1975 (think Shaggy). They are good for donning a mermaid tail, which has never come in handy.


4. The other day I referred to my five-year-old son Ike and my four-year-old daughter Mimi (names have been changed) as "Human Capital." My son replied, "We're not human, capital. We're human, lower-case. You and Mom are human, capital." He's a genius.

5. With the flick of a finger, I can flip my eyelids inside out; I can also turn my feet around just shy of 180 degrees. This has never come in handy.

6. The first thing I ever remember saying to Buffy (my wife—names have been changed) is, "Elizabuff Pendergast (names have been changed), will you marry me?" That, obviously, was followed by awkward silence. Then, nearly two years later, we went on our first date.

7. I have spent an inordinate amount of time trying to find a rhyme for the word orange. The closest I have come so far is syringe. That is pretty darn close, you've got to admit. Honorable mentions: porridge, core binge, torn fringe, and spore flange.

8. I enjoy teaching. I have taught secondary grades, college-aged students, post grads, white- and blue-collar workers, and people of the collar (religious). My day job is in leadership training for the state of Utah, but I also contract with a couple of companies and teach one night a week at the Marriott School at BYU as adjunct faculty.

9. I like to write songs. There are dozens of them, little pop songs and ballads. I rarely share them with people, just family and close friends. It's just for fun. I record, mix, master, and print them on my little BOSS 1600 self-contained recording studio (with a compass in the stock).

10. Last week, I had the unfortunate opportunity of holding a meeting with an employee to explain that his zipper is down a lot (nothing indecent, he's just not a detail guy). And how, if he can't keep it zipped up, he will be subject to formal discipline. Awkward.

11. My first car was a Plymouth Reliant K. We called him Don. I broke Don's axle in a medium-speed car chase with Schmaleb Schmohnson's Grandma's car. I ran into a curb on Main Street, which broke the axle; it also caused all of the passengers in the car to hit their heads on the ceiling. Except me, who hit my head on the windshield, which caused the windshield to break. The next morning, my Dad had me go to the Police Station, file a report with an officer, and get the car towed to a wrecking yard—alone and on foot. I can't wait to make my kids do something like that.

12. I love gardening. This is because of my Dad, a trained agronomist, who was always trying to grow some crazy, not-in-this-climate-you-don't plant. My favorite was his foray into peanuts. I keep it simple because of limited space—peas, corn, tomatoes, squash, and a couple of spices.

13. Quaking Aspens: love the look; hate what you've done to my yard.

14. My kids are funny. A while ago they were making up jokes using the following formula:
Q. What do you call a (something 1) next to a (something 2) ?
A. A (Something 1) (something 2)!

My favorite is,
Q. What do you call a roast beef next to a baby?
A. Roast beef, baby!

"Coffee table" and "book" worked well as somethings 1 and 2, respectively.

15. Most days, my singing voice range is three whole-steps away from three-octaves. This has only come in handy once at the Pendergast (names have been changed) family Christmas concert, 2007.

16. My first job out of college included teaching leather crafting. I didn't know how to craft leather at the time, but I sort of learned. I still use the wallet I crafted. It has a Viking's head tooled on its cover.

17. I learned how to drive a forklift in college. This has never come in handy.

18. I am the eighth of nine kids. My oldest brother is 19 years older than I am. I was an uncle before I started Kindergarten. Oh, Mormons, you and your twenty years of having babies.

19. I have 75 first cousins on my Mom's side—not including spouses. I do not know most of these people. I think this could be the subject of a game show called, "Are You My Cousin!?!" Throw in the spouses, seconds, and once-removeds and you've got nine seasons worth of episodes right there.

20. I don't get easily embarrassed by dumb things that I do, but I am quick to be embarrassed for other people.

21. Every year in February, I give Buffy (names have been changed) what I call Valentine's Week. It is a full week of Valentine's Day stuff. The tradition started back in 2001 before she and I were engaged. Each day of the week surrounding Valentine's Day is given a theme, like "flower day" or "candle-lit day." I like it because I find that it is easier to get into a restaurant or to get flowers on days that are not Valentine's Day. My favorite day is "death by chocolate day" where I fashion weapons out of various candy products.

22. I don't keep in touch with old friends very well. Again, that's why I like Facebook—It keeps in touch for me. What's next, familyreunion.com? I hope so.

23. In college, I had a regular gig doing voice-over work. I was one of three voices that would record the monthly audio version of Executive Excellence Magazine. I also did a number of commercials for Salisbury Homes. It was fun because it paid fairly well and the skill set you need for it—reading—is learned in first grade.

24. I have grown a full beard twice in my life. Both times were for a show I was in. Both times I looked horrible. Both times people treated me differently. Once, I went to the LDS temple fully bearded and a worker, assuming I was recently activated, with tears in his eyes took me firmly by the hand and with a husky voice said, "Welcome back, brother." To which I cheerily replied, "Thanks." Ironically, the show I was in was written and presented by the priesthood department of the LDS Church.

25. I wasn't joking about not stopping at 25. I see this as a positive thing proving that I am committed.

26. I am out of things to say.

27. I assume that this 25 Random Things idea was started by someone who was hoping to get personal information from trusting folks to use for less than honorable purposes. So, I will close with my social security number 879-68-7752 (numbers have been changed).