A Whole New Year (Don't you dare close your eyes)

Welcome to one of the newest years ever!

This year is definitely the most recent of all years ever to be. And, even 11 days into it, it feels like a whole new year. It feels like a group of days based on our planet's circling of the sun. It feels like a group of four seasons setting out to make another run at whatever seasons make a run at.

Did you know that March used to be the first month of the year? I wonder why they changed it to January? Anyone know?

September, October, November, and December make more sense with March as month one, though. After all, Sept = seven, Oct = eight, Nov = nine, and Dec = ten. Plus, February should be the last month of the year because it has the leftover days (28 or 29, depending on, you know, whatever leap year depends on).

Plus, doesn't March sound like a great way to start a year? "March, buddy! I mean it! Move it! You've got weight to lose and books to read! Those trips to the gym aren't going to take themselves, ya jackwagon! Pick 'em up and put 'em down!"

The only reason August isn't called Sextember and July, Pentember is because they were re-named after Caesars Augustus and Julius, respectively. I probably should site a source or two here, but I have no remembrance of where I read this and I don't feel like looking it up.

Besides, this next part is made up:

June was re-named after a certain Mrs. Cleaver;

May is the beginning of the eternal question;

April is a transliteration of the olde English phrase, "Apes for real!" This was a warning shouted down from watchtowers to travelers, imploring them to watch out for Apes. There weren't any apes, usually, almost never. This is also where we find the first use of the term April Fool.

I like this idea for the order of the months: March!, Biember, Triember, Quadober, Pentember, Sextober, September, October, November, December, Eleventeen, and Halt!

Who's with me?