The state of Schmutah just finished it's annual legislative session. One of the things that passed through the bowels and/or bladder of the legislative process was a bill that limits access to public records. It specifically makes text messages of state personnel and officials un-accessible, it does other things too. It is being panned by media outlets nation wide as an anti-open-government bill.
To defend the measure, legislators site how local media groups (mostly TV "investigative reporters") have been spending a lot of their time recently getting records from public agencies in order to uncover some malfeasance, "witch hunts" was one of the terms used to describe it. You'll remember trinket-gate. State agencies were spending dozens of tax payer dollars buying cheaply made trinkets to give away at career fairs! I'll never forget the ominous music underlying the grainy, close-up shot of the three-inch, foam hard hat. Scary stuff.
FULL DISCLOSURE: I am a state employee and I personally have a state-issued cellular phone device AND have given away cheaply made trinkets at career fairs, including three-inch, foam hard hats.
Also, the text messages that are on my state-owned phone would be among those that would be protected by this law. I feel a lot of guilt about hiding these text messages from media sources, what with the content of the messages being state property and all. In order to rectify this situation, I am going to list all of the text messages in my cell phone queue (names have been changed--except for one guy whose name is Danny).
I will list them in order from oldest to most recent.
I will label each message with an I or an O. I=incoming (meaning someone sent it to me); O=outgoing (I sent it).
Where needed, I will use [brackets] to provide context, which is a major up-grade from those GRAMA-requested, no-context messages that the media is always clamoring for.
Now, let us begin.
I: Were you able to connect with Rod?
I: Were you able to connect with Rod?
O: You must have the wrong number.
I: It's already packed :) [I do not remember the context of this message.]
O: Did you find your PJs? [I do remember this context and it's none of your business]
O: alskdfnaoicvnaoisdnflq;werlfnasdncvoaidnf aosdfnqwoeinfadovnascandifadlfo [outgoing message courtesy of my 3-year-old daughter, Kitty]
I: I'd like to send you messages using HeyTell click here to sign up.[Spam text]
O: Dootdoodoot dooodoo dooodoo...Square One!
I: LOL! I forgot about square one.
I: Danny? [apparently a man named Danny used to have my phone number, he still gets a good number of texts, I usually ignore them]
I: Salt City Burger Co.: Get $5 off when your guest check is over $15 at Salt City Burger. Reply STOP to cancel. [Spam text, probably set up by Danny]
O: STOP
I: All...Schmeve Schmayne (old Bishop) is moving this Sat at 9 AM any help you can render would be much appreciated.
O: Did you guys end up taking the foosball table? Buffy wants it if you guys don't.
I: U can come play it any time ud like :) hahahaha.
I: EQ temple day tomorrow 530 am meet at church south parking lot by Bishop's door.
I: Danny, Long time no communication. I hope all is well for u. Question for u. Do u work for American Express? Schmott
O: Wrong numbwe, not Danny. [yes, I misspelled number as numbwe]
O: Schmrent, have you heard back about your job interview with traffic?
O: Two sick kids, wife has appts this morning. I'll be in after lunch if that's ok.
I: Hi professor Schmurdock, Schmack Schmoffet here, I'm in your HRM class tonight and I was out last week. I just wanted to see if I missed important info on a take home test that I heard rumor of. Thanks!
There you have it. Open and fair government at its finest.
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