Equally and Equitably Idiotic

Several weeks ago I was feeling angry about the state of US politics, and I wrote this:

Is anyone else as fed up as I am with special interest groups from both sides of the aisle?  You know who I mean, the hypocrites, the distorters of truth, the manipulators of the public; the folks who are unable to compromise, unable to acknowledge the weak points in their own arguments, and who are so committed to ideology that the common good is irrelevant. 

This is ruining our country—bickering, infighting, tantrum, and stalemate.  

Compromise and acknowledgement of the rights of others to think differently than you do is the bedrock of progress for our country.  If you can’t agree with this idea because of your deeply held belief (right, left, religious, secular, gay, straight, scientist, creationist, black, white, Coke, or Pepsi), then you are the problem.  If we want our own rights protected, then we have to protect the rights of others on the opposite side of the ideological spectrum.   

Full disclosure:  I don't really have strong political feelings that strictly align with either side of the aisle.  My belief is that an ebbing and flowing of liberal and conservative agendas will best ensure that no important areas are neglected.  Both sides bring baggage, and both sides are equally ridiculous.  Braying donkeys and trumpeting elephants, yes, correct, these are accurate descriptions.  And furthermore . . .

Conservatives:  I know you want to blame the media, but you guys often look stupid all on your own.  I'm sorry, stupid is a bad word at our house.  What I really mean to point out is that Obama is a liberal politician within the spectrum of US politics, and every time one of your factions rants and raves about his birth certificate, Muslim background, or extreme Marxist views you weaken your legitimate arguments against his policies.  The general populace cared little about Benghazi because, like when the boy cried wolf, they'd already marched up the hill a couple of times and found no threat, and to tell you the truth, the screaming kid is annoying.

Liberals: you guys like to think you look smart, but it's the kind of smart that doesn't actually know anything.  The urbane college junior that sits around expounding on stuff that he has no experience with.  The guy that everyone wants to punch in the throat just to make him stop talking--that's you.  I'm sorry, threatening to punch people in the throat is bad at our house.  I've heard a lot of liberals saying how anyone who disagrees with current liberal dogmas is on the wrong side of history.  To that I reply: we are in the present, and you don't get to decide what history will think of anything, the only thing that is certain is that history will think that your wardrobe is old fashioned.

Religious: how about trying to live the way your religion teaches?  Hypocrisy is potentially found most in those who have a high standard to live up to.  Also, Christians, "with what judgment ye judge, shall ye be judged."  If that's true and you set your own rubric for how you'll be judged, you may want to consider--oh, I don't know--praying for your enemy, doing good to those who hate you, and being as merciful as can be to those who despitefully use you.

Secularists:  Simmer down.  People have the right (a constitutional right in the United States) to practice religion.  Stop trampling on that because you thought church was boring when you were a kid, or because you think believing in God is naive.  To believers, not believing in God is equally naive, and plenty of smart, educated, knowledgeable people have been (and are) believers.  Nothing in science or the natural world definitively dis-proves that there is a God anymore than proves that there is a God.  Maybe people who choose to live by faith understand something that you are not able to understand. Full Disclosure: church is boring, so what?

Gays: The word you are looking for is equity, not equality.  Equal rights mean same rights, which you have: any single man can marry any single woman.  You want fairness, or equity.  I'm with you on that.  You should have access to fair, equitable treatment in your relationships.  But, seriously, you've got to lay off people that disagree with redefining marriage to include same-sex couples.  There actually is empirical evidence that shows a destabilization of marriage rates and traditional family units in general when laws are enacted that focus on married couples rather than potential familial units (e.g., common law marriage, same-sex marriage, etc.).  Here is my source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9908951/Gay-marriage-will-destabilise-family-life-sociologist-warns.html.  I believe that equitable civil unions and not marriages would have been better for society in general.  Sorry if that makes you mad.

Straights: I'm talking to straight people who want to block gay marriage: you didn't find a rational argument to make, and now it's too late.  You've lost this one.  Get over it.

Scientists: I mean you folks that use science as proof of your atheist religion.  The more we learn about the laws governing the universe/multiverse the more it looks like there is a possibility that a highly evolved being could create a universe in His/Her/Its kitchen, and if it's possible, then, in a infinite universe with finite elements--it has happened.  Ladies and gentlemen, science believes in God(s)!

Creationists:  Faith is evidence of things not seen.  Science is based on observation.  It's not the same thing.

Black/white: I have nothing to add here.

Coke/Pepsi: Nobody cares about your cola preference.  Drink some water.